What Lies Ahead

In a few days when Tim is feeling up to it, we will have to have a very important appointment with his oncologist. We have to decide whether Tim should continue the chemo treatments. If he chooses to proceed, they will reduce the dose in hopes that it is strong enought to kill off any cancer but weak enough not to kill him. He has exhausted all of his options. So not continuing along this path, means we do nothing.

During this trying period, God has performed miracle after miracle. Of course, I have asked for one more, but I must accept whatever He decides. I do not understand why Tim has cancer or why he has suffered for so many years. I do not want to think about my life without my soul mate. And when I allow myself to entertain these thoughts, I am scared. I am sad. I feel like our time has been cut short. I want more of this precious thing called time. I crave it. But what's done is done and I cannot go back. I must move on. I must remember to look to Him. I am told the Lord will not leave my side. And if I truly believe that, I am not alone nor ever have been.