Not Again

Last weekend was awesome. We went to Estes Park. We spent the night Saturday and came home late Sunday afternoon. We didn't do much but it was great to get out of the house and see beautiful Colorado.

Sunday evening took a drastic turn for the worse at about 8 p.m. when Tim came down with another high fever. We went straight to ER and that was a nightmare. They did the standard stuff...draw blood, urine sample and chest x-ray. They didn't tell us much that night and finally admitted him around 1:00 a.m.

As of now, it's looking like he has the same thing he had a week ago. Of course knowing what is wrong is only part of the problem. They have to figure out why. Right now I hope this is a medical problem and not a surgurical problem. One more surgery just seems more than either one of us can handle.

The pain in Tim's back seems to be getting worse and the pain pills he normally takes don't seem to be working anymore. Since he's been in the hospital, they've been giving him shots of morphine which seem to help...for awhile. However, morphine is a quick acting, short lasting drug and after a couple hours the pain comes right back and he needs more. And with all those drugs he does a lot of sleeping as one might expect. But there's a moment. A moment right after he's been given the morphine and just before he falls asleep where time stands still and everything is perfect. He's pain free and coherant. He smiles at me and I'm taken back to a time that was less hectic and filled with far less worry. It's in those moments that I find the strength to keep going for Tim...for us. I cling to the hope that a feeling like that will be longer than just a moment.